we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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