This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
