remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
