so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
