would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
