so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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