think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Come see our sink grown plant.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
