Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
