She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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