We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
