dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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