as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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