My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
