You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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