The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
