I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
