He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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