Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have fence marks all over my body
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
