The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
