I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
