What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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