Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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