They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
