Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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