Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
