her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
