Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
