Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
