she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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