I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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