brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you win again, gameday.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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