I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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