I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
