What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
