At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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