you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
