His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
