the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
