Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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