Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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