Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize