its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
