i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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