people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
