You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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