What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
