dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
