This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
well you can't waste a boner
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
