I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
