i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
