i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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