ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
