doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
