Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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