if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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