Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
