Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
