bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
