Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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