guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
