Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
