She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
