Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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